Sometimes, whilst schlepping home on the tube, I drift into daydream and fantasise of a life more perfect. A life in which, relievedly, I’m not rattling around the underworld of our ‘Great Wen’ with my nose pressed into the armpit of a middle-aged banker.
It plays something like this…
Reality: Walk. Bird craps on me.
Daydream: The Ledbury.
Reality: M&S ready meal. Two days out-of-date.
Daydream: Julia Restoin-Roitfeld. BFF.
Reality: Kevin from Accounts.
Daydream: Reed Krakoff. Pre-fall 2012.
Reality: Primark’s ugly sister, Peacock.
As the tannoy confirms our arrival into Victoria station, I’ll return – to the gaze of the banker, surveying me in much the way a wolf would rib-eye steak – and realise that, actually, Reed Krakoff would be wasted on a crowd like this.
Tell me, do you have a daydream life?
It’s 21 days until Christmas.
As the season of good cheer and mince pies draws nearer, my modus operandi is to postpone preparations until the last minute. That’d usually be Christmas Eve, whereupon I blitzkrieg the local all-night garage – scooping armfuls of condoms, car air fresheners (which never smell ‘fresh’, why is that?) and colossal bags of Haribo sweets to gift to loved ones.
Who, given this, I mustn’t love at all.
In wanting never again to see my sister’s bemused face – as she unwraps a Ginsters pastie on Christmas morning – my new watchwords are ‘organised’ and ‘out of sodding character’. The turkey is on order. The tree, too – soon to have parcels from Mulberry, Gieves & Hawkes, and Diptyque sitting prettily beneath it.
The cause of this volte-face?
I’ve been wearing Chanel’s Le Vernis in ‘Graphite’ these past weeks – a hybrid of metallic grey and green – and it’s making me feel festive. For those of you who haven’t already, it’s not too late to beg, borrow or eBay a bottle. Best? Should my good intentions disappear on first sniff of Christmas eggnog, it will make me the most stylish person in the all-night garage come December 24.
Silver linings, and all that.
There are changes in my personal life – for better or worse, let’s see – and, as a consequence, there’ll either be (1) many more or (2) many less updates on this little blog of mine.